The Diet Joke

As Steve Martin once said, “Always. . . No, never. . .”

That’s the first thing that popped in my mind when I read the article 25 Diet-Busting Foods You Should Never Eat on MSN’s Health & Fitness page.

Never?

Can I just interject that blogging is like homework.

Not when something plops itself into your lap, which happens anytime politicians do something, like leave their house. But who wants to follow every step (and misstep) politicians take, or for that matter, Health & Fitness news, which, like politicians is full of ever-changing absolutes.

Take, for example, this handful of articles:

10 Foods You Should Always Eat After Your Workout

The 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating

The 5 foods you should eat every day

The media lovingly refers to these types of titles as hooks.

I’m working on a few of my own, as in:

The 1 Book Should Buy Right Now

The 1 Book Should Never Be Without

Go on. Click on them.

Back to “25 Diet-Busting Foods You Should Never Eat.” Among them is something called a Coldstone Creamery PB&C Shake, which is a frozen concoction of chocolate ice cream, milk, and peanut butter. A large one has 2,010 calories, which is about all the calories you need for the day, and 68 grams of saturated fat, which is about all the saturated fat you need for four days.

I agree, a PB&C Shake is a diet disaster, but should you NEVER have one? I don’t know. What if tomorrow you’re heading off to fight the Taliban in Afghanistan? Maybe a PB&C Shake the day before you fly out would be pretty tasty, and some Wendy’s Sweet and Spicy Boneless Wings, too, which are also on the list.

I’ve never been in the military, but my brother-in-law is, and he assures me there’s nothing close to a PB&C Shake and some Wendy’s Sweet and Spicy Boneless Wings anywhere in an MRE (Meals-Ready-To-Eat).

The point is, absolutes always. . . no, absolutes never. . .

As Steve Martin once said, “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

I’m not saying a day without a Cinnabon Caramel Pecanbon (which is also on the list, and with good reason) is like, you know, night.

But a lifetime without one is like, you know, death.