Archive for July, 2010

Fat Fido – Another Sign of the Times

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Dogs are just like guys. They like to eat. They like to sleep. They like to lick their…well, you get the idea.

The point is, once you stop running after food, you’re bound to gain weight. That doesn’t bode well for man or beast. Take dogs in Britain, for example. Half the hounds in that country will die an early death because they’re too fat. That’s according to the veterinary charity, the People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals, which has been keeping an eye on the weight of dogs in the UK since 2006. Here’s the article from the Daily Mail.

And who’s to blame for the padded pooches? People. Who else?

People are to blame for just about everything. Sure, some things are God’s fault, but more things are people’s fault. Dogs go along with everything, which is why people like them so much.

In this case, people are to blame because they’re overfeeding their dogs and/or not giving them enough exercise. Just like people, dogs gain weight when they eat too much relative to how much they move. And just like people, dogs with too much extra weight have an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and other unpleasantries.

How can you tell if your dog is too fat? Stroke his or her side. If you can’t feel the ribs, your dog might be packing extra pounds. And if you find a hidden stack of Oreo’s under the pillow in the dog house, that’s not a good sign either.

If you’re concerned about your dog’s weight, talk to your vet. And if you’re concerned about your own weight, talk to your doctor.

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YMCA R.I.P.

Saturday, July 17th, 2010

I’m all for branding. Not the kind that marks farm animals, but the kind that makes you order a Coke when probably any cola will do. Some branding is more successful than others. I like orange soda, but I never ask for a Fanta or a Sunkist. I just ask for something orange. They could hand me a Screwdriver and I’d be thrilled.

The point is, everybody knows the YMCA. That’s why I’m as dismayed as the Village People that the YMCA has officially changing its name to “the Y.”

Sure, that’s what everybody already calls it, but that’s no reason to change the name. People will just be confused. They’ll walk around, scratching their head, wondering what happened to the YMCA.

“It just died,” someone will say, and then the Y will have to start all over, rebuilding an entirely new brand. Across the country, entire stadiums of folks will rise to their feet to dance to the Village People anthem, then sit down when it’s over and say, “Did you hear the YMCA died?”

“Yeah,” someone else will say, “I miss the Y.” Even though it never went anywhere.

So here it is. My #1 Rule of Marketing: Don’t mess with the brand when the brand is already working.

According to the AP article posted on Salon.com, officials at the Y say the brand wasn’t working because lots of people don’t know what the YMCA does. Maybe, but everybody knows the dance.

That’s my #2 Rule of Marketing: You don’t need a new anything when you already have a dance.

The YMCA doesn’t just have a dance. It has a dance everybody in the world knows how to do.

Here are fans doing the dance at Yankee Stadium.

YMCA dance

For the record, according to its website, “The Y is a cause-driven organization that is for youth development, for healthy living and for social responsibility.”

Here’s the problem – and this is what branding is all about — what does the Y stand for now? If the YMCA was the Young Men’s Christian Association, what’s the Y? The Young? The Youth? If it just stands for the YMCA, then you didn’t need to change the name, you needed to work on getting your message out.

Rest in peace, YMCA. You died before your time.

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Hotties Beware!

Friday, July 9th, 2010

To all you Hotties out there (and by Hotties, I mean, people who sweat when they blink, which is everybody on the east coast lately): Be careful this summer.

Now is not the time to take up a new strenuous exercise regimen. Even if you’re used to revving it up everyday, exercise caution when the mercury soars.

Here are some hot-weather exercising tips from the SparkPeople article, 13 Ways to Cool Down Your Summer Workout.

Stay in the shade.

That sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how hard some people work on their tans.

Perfect Your Timing.

This is good tip for comedians too. Heck, it’s a good tip for life, just like Win the Lottery. When it comes to exercising in the heat, shoot for before 10 a.m. or after 7 p.m. when conditions (sun, pollution, humidity) aren’t so intense.

Know When to Stay Inside.

And when to keep your mouth shut. Over 90 degrees Fahrenheit? Probably best to stay inside. Dodger fan at Yankee stadium? Probably best to keep your mouth shut.

Drink Often.

Hydrate with water, not margaritas. Speaking of margaritas, here’s a delicious recipe for them, courtesy of Epicurious:

1 1/2 cups gold tequila

3/4 cup Triple Sec

3/4 cup fresh lime juice

4 tablespoons sugar

8 cups crushed ice

2 tablespoons kosher salt

6 lime wedges

Combine tequila, triple sec, lime juice, and 2 tablespoons sugar in large pitcher; stir to dissolve sugar. Add crushed ice. Mix salt and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar in shallow bowl. Moisten rim of 6 Margarita glasses with lime wedge. Holding each glass upside down, dip rim into sugar-salt mixture. Pour Margarita into glasses. Garnish with lime wedge.

Like the song says, “Stay cooly cool, boy!”

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Summer Party Tip

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

I’m onto my last day of the Dr. Oz-recommended sex schedule, “Have Sex 8 Times This Week,” and I’m sorry to report that I’m behind sex 7 times.

I’m sure you have very little interest in my sex life, and frankly, so do I sometimes. The point is, what goes on behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors.

The same holds true for your own private low-calorie salad dressing bottle. It should stay behind closed doors. In other words, don’t start carrying it around in your purse to whip out in restaurants or at your best friend’s birthday party. Purses are for money, keys, and condoms — not for low-calorie salad dressing and dogs with bows and rhinestone collars.

Okay, so my mood’s a little off, but like I said, I’m behind sex 7 times, and probably a lot more than that.

Back to low-calorie salad dressing. Here I was, surfing the web, looking for some useful diet tip to pass along to my faithful readers when I happened upon a Today show segment. In the segment, a nice woman from Alabama called in to say she was heading to her sister’s for the holiday and wanted to know what effect a Fourth of July meal of ribs, baked beans, salad, and maybe a little watermelon would have on her dieting efforts. Today show nutritionist Joy Bauer told the caller not to worry – one off-meal isn’t going to ruin any diet. Then she suggested the caller bring her own bottle of low-calorie salad dressing to the party.

Boy, nutritionists have some lousy ideas. First of all, the salad is probably already going to be dressed by the time it gets to the table. What do you do then? Ask if you can rinse it off in the sink? Then you look like a kook. Granted, you can do that in front of your family, but what if your sister invited her new single co-worker just to meet you. He’ll watch you pull out that bottle of low-calorie dressing and wonder what you might bring on your first date with him. Imagine him taking you to a swinging Happy Hour at TGIF and you pull out a little baggie of carrot sticks and celery. Keep it up and nobody’s going to invite you anywhere anymore.

A more useful tip when it comes to attending parties — as David Brown once said, “Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both.”

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