Boy, the Oscars were bad this year. They’re not even over and I feel that way. Thank God Kirk Douglas was available. At least, he gave the show some life.
I think we can safely say that the Academy’s attempt to make the show more desirable to a younger demographic fell flat on its 83-year-old face. I think it may have even broken a hip. I’m not in the producers fancy-pants desired demographic, but as an actor, I like to watch the show. And yet, I found time to do laundry, empty the dishwasher, and vacuum while the thing’s been on. And now, blog! Talk about a boring show.
The show has been trying too hard for hours. It would benefit the producers to follow some recent government advice, albeit slightly altered, regarding Americans eating habits. The advice? Eat less. Slightly altered for the Academy Awards–do less. A lot less. In fact, why not just do the red carpet thing? Stars could get out of their limos, walk down the red carpet, and Tom Hanks could hand out the statues at the other end. Sort of like a high-school gradation. Just keep the thing moving, for God’s sake.
Back to the government’s advice. In Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2010, which is 112 pages (long, but not as long as the Academy Awards show), some of the new USDA recommendations include:
- Eat less cake, cookies, ice cream, other desserts, and candy.
- Eat less of high-calorie desserts.
- Increase physical activity and reduce time spent in sedentary behaviors. (Like watching boring television.)
And now Gwyneth Paltrow is singing.
We at The Diet Joke did enjoy Randy Newman’s comments and also those of Inside Job writer/director Charles Ferguson, winner of Documentary Feature, who said, “Forgive me. I must start by pointing out that 3 years after a horrific financial crisis caused by massive fraud, not a single financial executive has gone to jail, and that’s wrong.”
But no surprise.
