Word is that the very familiar color-coded terror threat level system is on the way out. According to the Huff Post, Homeland Security wants a new design, something more streamlined for Spring. Fewer colors, different words, even a new name – something with more punch, like the National Terrorist Advisory System. And that airport recording we’ve been hearing for years, time to update that, too.
Chances are President Obama will go for it. Politics, even of the magnitude of national security, are like fashion: in one day, out the next. But just scrapping the whole thing? That’s not very green (not the terror-level-kind-of-green, but the Ed Begley-kind-of-green) and we at The Diet Joke believe in recycling. That’s why we’re proud of the fact that we’ve already found a new use for the old system.
We’ve already adapted it to address another great threat to this country’s well-being: the threat of obesity. Cleverly renamed as the Overeating Advisory System (if there’s one thing we are at The Diet Joke, it’s clever), this five-color-coded system works the same way. Each color represents a different threat level of our risk of overeating.
Look at this fancy thing.
Now that we’re smack in the middle of the holiday season, we’re currently at Threat Level Red, and we have the press release to prove it. Threat Level Red means we all have a severe risk of eating too much. Take me, for example. Here it is, the day after Thanksgiving, and I’ve already eaten a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream and two large cookies for breakfast. That’s not good for the country, or my waistline, either.
For updates on the current threat level, check out our page, cleverly entitled “Threat Level.” Chances are the threat level will drop to Orange in January, and stay there most of the time, except around the holidays, and maybe even elections, too.
